In this weekly series, I quick fire the inspiration uplifting my quotidian, from add to cart to food for thought!

1. New Hydration Obsession Unlocked — Biologica’s “midlife essentials” powder supplement promises “better sleep, calmer mood, and less brain fog.” I’ve been road-testing it daily for about ten days and, WOW. The slightly effervescent black currant flavor is the first wellness habit I've genuinely looked forward to. Dark, berry-forward, subtle and sophisticated — nothing chalky, nothing medicinal, nothing that requires holding your breath. I look forward to it all day (I make it my dinner-and-after massive hydration due to the potentially soporific magnesium). Also, the incredible relief tin packaging is STUNNING. Hormone changes are a chapter I think we're all navigating with far less information than we deserve, so I'll be flagging what actually helps as I find it. This helps. It works. I’ve cut out all juices and would only drink this forever happily.

2. The Sunday Event — We spent Sunday at church followed by a jaunt to the American Gardens’ Sunday market with friends, and it was kind of magical. I wore a new dress — the Another Girl floral hip-gathered dress — with my favorite suede ballerina flats that are taken for a spin at least four days a week. This dress is a win because the hip gathering is quietly genius — it nips and releases in exactly the right places — and the floral print lands firmly on the adult side of pretty. We left with cheese, lemonade, and smiles and I felt so glad to be doing something relaxed and outside that Cosima would easily enjoy without it being an “activity” with a capital A. Exactly the kind of unhurried, flower-filled morning Charleston was made for.

3. The Hostess Gift Worth Keeping for Yourself — The orange-infused olive oil from the Williams Sonoma infused olive oil gift set is the standout of the collection and deserves its own conversation. I drizzled it over tiny sandwiches I made of cheddar biscuits, sliced peaches, mozzarella, and a generous pinch of Kosher salt. The ultimate summer snack. I also grabbed some as a gift to share the sweet, savory, and bright flavors. I want to make a habit of bringing a gift for the mom to the endless toddler birthday parties because planning those parties is a lot of work and deserving a gift for mom, and this will be my new go-to instead of a candle. Our new signature move!

4. Playing Off The Court — Rhône's Rally Dress has become my summer uniform, and I mean that as the highest possible compliment. I bought it in navy first, road-tested it through every version of a mom summer day — camp drop-off, library run, early patio dinner — and then went straight back for white. It's athletic enough to be comfortable, polished enough to feel dressed, and somehow never wrinkles on the run. The crisp knife pleat skirt and built-in support top and bottom are so flattering. Every occasion. Handled. I really, really love this tennis dress.

5. Friends From a Different Chapter — Recently I had a sundowner cocktail hour to introduce two friends — one from my neighborhood, one from my tennis classes — who happen to be of a generation above my own. It was fabulous. There is something so quietly radical about choosing friendships across generations, and we can always embrace it more. The perspective, the ease, the particular warmth of women who have already navigated what you're in the middle of — irreplaceable. Plus, they have nothing to prove so their company comes with confident ease. No performance, no competition, just a golden-hour glass of wine. Something to consider!

Join @TheBlaiseBarber

The Wink is my weekly essay exploring thought provoking topics in a quick cut format. Looking for deeper tracks? Meet me at The Dive on Thursdays. Craving a lighter snack? Catch me at Tiny Thrills on Tuesdays.

2 MIN. READ

Bob Goff — recovering lawyer and author of Love Does — quits every Thursday. Not dramatically. No resignation letter. Just… Something that had been quietly stealing space from things that actually matter? It’s vanquished. Weekly.

It is literally on his calendar to quit something Thursday after Thursday after Thursday.

“Meeting at 10 AM. Lunch at 12:15 PM. Pick up the dry cleaning. Quit something at 2 PM.”

I’ve been thinking about this nonstop.

Because my New Year resolution this year wasn’t to add anything. No new habit, no sunrise routine, no vision board with the word “abundant” on it. It was to delete. To have tunnel vision on what I already know I want, reflect on how I’d spent my time that did not get me closer to that thing, and cut it out.

We are addicted to adding. The self-improvement industrial complex is built entirely on this.

Here is an example: you’ve been lead to believe that it takes about three weeks to form a new habit. Nonsense. It takes much longer; two to five months! But just as you are clearing the first biggest hump around week three, you notice it’s not yet easy enough, you quit, thinking it didn’t work. Then, a few weeks or months later, you give it another shot, hoping to hop back on the self-improvement train. Buy the online course again. Book the motivational ticket again. Sign up for the gym again. They know you’re addicted to adding and so they convinced you to stop just as you were about to succeed, so that you’ll re-buy the product later.

We can flip the script on those marketing devils’ addiction to addition.

Bob Goff (and I, may I add) figured out, with characteristic simplicity, that the antidote to the hamster wheel is not addition. It’s subtraction. On a schedule. Relentless!

Every Thursday we ask: what can I quit? A committee joined out of obligation. A lunch date with the snarky friend. A project that made sense six months ago and doesn’t anymore. A hobby formerly loved but now utterly boring. Gone. More room for what you are actually here to do.

Think of the closet principle — applicable in life as much as fashion: you don’t make room for beautiful, intentional things by squeezing them in. You make room by clearing out what no longer fits.

Today is Sunday. We have four days to decide… What would you quit this Thursday?

xx B

SHOP MY FINDS

The Dive is my weekly essay to crack open a deeply personal topic in order to share resources, inspire, and uplift. I employ the pay wall to sift earnestly interested readers from an audience of looky-loos. I think of you as friends working through life right alongside me, not viewers to a performance. Welcome.

I have never had ballerina legs. Even in the year after I had Cosima when I weirdly dropped a bunch of weight without meaning to and was too slight—like 98 pounds on my five foot frame—my legs were smaller, but still, just, the same shape and texture.

They have always been what they are: thick with what I think is cellulite, inner knees with a padding, and ankles not at all so slim. I’ve seen others with these legs and you know what I mean. Over the years, I somewhat made peace with it: I learned to wear the shorts, if I really loved them. I wore the cute dress, but never above the knee. I got over it, if I had to. And I accepted that this is my genetic shape.

But lately, something shifted — and that, I can’t get over.

I saw myself in a video and knew, in the way you just know, that something had changed. I couldn’t have pointed to it on a photograph. You would look at me and see nothing different. But I felt it: puffier, heavier, somehow not myself in all the wrong ways. I felt a quiet alarm of a change that happened without my permission.

So I decided to run an experiment. On myself.

Buckle up, guys!…

Note: I drafted this post a good ten days ago, listing the exact diet, supplements, hydration, gadgets, lotions, testing, medications, and exercise I am trying. Below, I add in italics an update as of Tuesday, May 26th, to tell you how consistent I’ve been with each item and whether it’s made a difference to how I look or feel. I hope this specificity and honesty is helpful.

Read more

In this weekly series, I quick fire inspiration making my week a tiny bit more thrilling, from add to cart to food for thought.

1. The Kelly Gets a Summer Job —

Allow me to introduce you to the seagrass Kelly bag by Dans La Main. The unmistakable classic silhouette of the most iconic bag in the world, rendered in natural seagrass — elevated and effortless.

In a Charleston-like environment, this concept is “the” bag. Year round, farmers market to dinner, no second thought required. For the rest of the world, it is the spring-summer bag for the sophisticated uptown girl. No logo; just iconic. The Kelly shape has been coveted for seventy years, but this version does not require a wait list. Consider this your sign. (PS: I also love this wicker Kelly…)

2. Ina Garten is Fired —

I adore Ina, and nothing gives me more of a thrill than spotting her and Jeffrey walking down the street arm in arm in East Hampton. But, between us, she under-salts and under-lemons her food. I said it! Instead, let me share your weeknight dinner worthy of a standing ovation, produced by me, a woman who smells faintly of sunscreen.

Because yesterday it was a full family playdate with friends on Sullivan’s Island — kids hurling themselves into the ocean, adults socializing, but mainly supervising — and within forty-five minutes of walking through the door, a roast chicken was on the table. Here is how.

My recipe non-negotiable: chicken halves or quarters, never a whole bird. Surface area maximized, everything cooks quickly and evenly, every piece gets crackling skin. Lay the chicken on top of a generous layer of halved baby new potatoes and coat them generously in — and this is the top secret part — Better Than Bouillon chicken base paste. The paste lacquers onto the potatoes as they roast into a deeply savory, glossy, caramelization. I eat it straight from the pan before it reaches the table.

3. Amazon’d and Unashamed —

We’re going to have it a retro Mary Tyler Moore summer… You’re gonna make it after all!

I have been coveting the Pitaya Towel Dress by La Veste — V-neck, short-sleeve, fringe-trimmed terry with matching shorts. The problem: $500 for a set that will spend most of its life thrown over a swimsuit. My love has its limits.

Of course it has been Amazon’d. Of course! Same silhouette, same fringed charm, same “just stepped off a boat in Capri” energy in several colors — waiting for us at $26. I have no notes. I have no shame.

Also on my radar: the Cadets long-line terry vest — soft loop terry, minimalist snaps, a detachable self-tie belt, and much more affordable.

4. The Coffee Table Book That Makes Me Drool —

Dallas-based interior designer Cathy Kincaid has a new Rizzoli book dropping in September — Memorable Rooms: Artisanal Collaborations — and I am already pre-ordering. Kincaid is the designer’s designer: known for exquisite color palettes, couture dressmaker details, and an unwavering commitment to the bespoke. This is not a book about trends. It is a book about rooms that will still be beautiful in forty years.

She takes you inside homes from Sun Valley to a New York City penthouse to East Hampton, room by room, discussing every color, textile, and artisanal finish — with contributors like de Gournay and Leontine Linens along for the ride. Foreword by the great Veere Grenney. $55, and worth every penny. Pre-order now so that September-you feels like she has it together.

My next epistle will be on Thursday when I share with paying subscribers the anti-inflammatory and de-bloat “I will try literally anything” routine I’ve undertaken. I’ve decided to have zero shame to see if I can move the needle on my body feeling heavy, so I’m sharing the exact details (diet, products, gadgets…), plus the 2 1/2 pounds I’ve lost. Chat then.

The Dive is my weekly essay to crack open a deeply personal topic in order to share resources, inspire and uplift. I employ the pay wall to sift earnestly interested readers from an audience of looky-loos. I think of you as friends around a dinner table working through life right alongside me. Welcome.

Here’s a thought I can’t shake: when you die, you can fit about eight people around your bed.

That’s it. Eight.

Move a chair, squeeze in a ninth if you must — but you get the picture. The circle at the end is small. Because it has always been small.

And most of us spend our whole adult lives not acting like it.

We collect people the way we collect things. Business cards, followers, Christmas card recipients, “my friend group.” We mistake a full calendar for a full life. We spread ourselves across forty acquaintances and wonder why we feel, at the end of a dinner party, inexplicably lonely.

I’ve been there. I think most of us have.

But here’s an exercise I’ve started doing…

Read more

Tiny Thrills is my weekly free share of the purchases, places, and people worth your three minutes.

1. The Inflammation Situation - I have decided my body is inflamed and bloated and am handling this with the grace and restraint you would expect from me… After researching ad nauseam and cementing myself into “decision paralysis” characteristic of a Type A Virgo, I gave up and purchased a potpourri of internet hacks: a lymphatic drainage device that vibrates and heats, a diuretic tea, oil drops that go under the tongue, and the expensive Dermalogica lotion with before/after photos that grabbed my attention. I will report back. (Do not at me; I’m also taking more substantive steps regarding diet, exercise, and hormones. But, yes, do share any ideas in the comments, please!)

2. Back on the Court - I have returned to tennis before it becomes blisteringly hot and am rewarding myself accordingly because it was much more of a psychological than physical push… I was nervous. So, a tennis bag for the lady. I’ve actually never had one because I just, you know, hold the racket and my water and what else is needed to play the sport? I present my shortlist, in order of escalating justification:

• Mark & Graham Sporty Stripe Tote — Monogrammed, wipeable, country club without trying.

• Mark & Graham Raffia and Leather Tennis Tote - Utterly upscale and anti-sporty.

• Tory Burch Striped Tennis Tote — Goes from court to lunch (I’ll be at preschool pick-up, but bring me home a salad, please).

• Ame & Lulu Nantucket Tote or Tennis Tote— Classic, but shaken and with a twist. Sometimes obvious is correct.

Which is your favorite?

3. Two Cities, Two Philosophies - The thing I noticed the moment I moved from New York to Charleston in 2018: New York women wear the same jewelry every day — a curated tangle of look what I can afford. The Cartier love bracelet. The diamond studs. The tennis bracelet. The huge watch. Immovable and institutional.

By contrast, Charleston women change their jewelry daily. A charm bracelet on Tuesday. Colored stone earrings on Thursday. A cluster of delicate necklaces just because. No proof required. Dressing for themselves, not the room.

I plan to dig deeper into this in an Instagram post in my series Things Charleston Women do that Shock a New Yorker — they are apparently intriguing to others, as well, as they go viral with hundreds of thousands of views, like this one and this one.

4. The Reorder Report - As the “anti product junkie,” it is a big deal when when I re-order an item. These are the glam products I finished and immediately replaced, without deliberation, without coupons, without guilt:

• YSL Beauty Morning Cocktail Serum — The glow is real and it feels so good first thing in the morning.

• Aerin Amber Musk Perfume — Wear it and feel like a more pulled-together version of yourself. Instant. Not too strong, not too floral.

• Clé de Peau Concealer Stick — Expensive and worth every cent. Non-negotiable.

• Color Wow One Minute Transformation Cream — The one product I would take to a desert island without blinking. I’ve shown you before and after videos on Instagram. Frizzy, unruly strands transformed into silky locks.

5. My Eyes are Glued to This Website - There is a new luxury handbag brand called Honoré and I Cannot. Stop. Thinking. About. It. Each piece is bespoke—entirely made to order with the skins and colors of your choosing, each a little cube of exotic candy colored perfection. There was a pop-up shop in NYC recently that I learned about from Habitually Chic, and now I’m staring at my computer waiting for the website to go live. Wish list. Bucket list. Obsession list.

See you next week.

The Wink is my weekly free essay exploring thought provoking issues in a quick cut format.

I asked Claude to scan the most profitable and popular Substacks by stylish influencers in their 30s who provide a sophisticated and upscale product, and tell me how often they post, which posts are free versus paid, and what the common themes are.

It told me one of the “recurring content themes” is the “former editor credibility angle, wherein “the most trusted voices aren’t influencers in the traditional sense; they’re editors who use their platform for deep personal reflection” on relevant topics.

This resonated with me because I have adopted the “former editor” voice, myself—not merely in speaking to you here or on Instagram, but in speaking to myself as I navigate my life.

I think you could benefit from this, too. Let me explain.

In my small business of content creation:

Nobody wants to hear from influencers anymore. The landscape shifted from “blogging” (sharing about your experiences) to “influencing” (sharing to persuade) and the plot was lost. But, and this is the important and subtle part, you are welcome to influence me so long as you are coming from a place of credibility. Meaning, please do talk at me about the skincare product you want me to buy, but it has to be within the context of your own experience tackling a skincare issue or searching to better yourself.

At bottom: lean into a former experience to give authority to your current perspective.

I’d intuitively done this when I changed up my Instagram account about three months ago to highlight my unique prior perspective as a native New Yorker and lawyer and how that informs my current experiences as a mom in Charleston. That shift in identity — and I believe you need a “persona” rather than a “niche,” which I’ll dive into separately when I explain the key changes I made to grow my account 90% — re-launched my account in three months with big growth after stagnating for years.

In my personal life:

The way you speak to yourself in your head and frame your experiences to yourself matters. You set the table for yourself. We might be eating leftover Chinese noodles for dinner, but we will be using real plates and cloth napkins. Similarly, we might be spending our days managing nap schedules, camp drop off, and snack rotations, but we will be doing so with the sharp wit, eye for detail, passion for excellence of a New York lawyer.

In other words: cloak yourself in an air of authority when simply going about your day by embracing your own “former editor” voice. Sometimes a physical costume helps: I recently took tennis back up by dropping-in to group clinics at our tennis club, which I found intimidating because frankly some of the women are cool while others are rude, as is the tradition at all clubs. Instead of thinking of myself as “a mom who has not picked up a racket in 12 months,” I thought of myself as “a woman who proudly prioritized time with her child over tennis schedules and is now back, so make way please, in a new tennis skirt and curiosity to see how quickly I get the muscle memory up and on.”

You will see the “former editor” voice pop up constantly now that you know to look for it. Many people online lean into it quite literally: “I’m a former fashion editor and now a mom in Connecticut, so here are my outfit hacks for you that I gleaned from years working in the Hearst building.” Others are picking up the voice more subtly: instead of, “here are the pretty outfits I wore this week,” it’s “as a real estate broker turned blogger, here is what I can teach you about feeling pulled together on the go.”

Which “former editor” voice will you adopt? We all have experiences to draw on, so I’m encouraging you to embrace them and use them as a platform to give more authority and credibility to whatever your current perspective is.

In this series, I quick fire the inspiration making my week a tiny bit more thrilling, from “add to cart” to “food for thought.”

4 minute read

1. That Was Easy — Like a lot of moms, I am “so over cooking” simply because it feels relentless. I personally could eat a salad or cereal every day, but the family’s tumble rumbles, and so I’ve endeavored to stick to very quick and painless dinner recipes. Think: week night, sheet pan, one pot, etc. I recently shared on Instagram a pasta I made that was a huge hit with adults and toddlers alike, and received a lot of requests for the recipe. So, here is my one pot glossy tagliatelle:

   1. Into a deep pan for which you have a lid:

      1. A few rolls of dried tagliatelle pasta (it has to be dried and definitely get “bronze cut” pasta for a better texture)

      2. A few tablespoons of Passata

      3. A teaspoon or two of minced garlic

      4. A few tablespoons of olive oil

      5. A few big handfuls of spinach leaves

      6. A few sprinkles of dried Italian seasoning

      7. About a cup and half of chicken stock or broth

      8. About a cup and half of heavy cream

      9. A hefty pinch of Kosher salt and lemon-pepper seasoning

   2. Put the lid on the pan, turn the burner to simmer, and let it sit for 20 minutes. That’s it! Delicious because the sauce is soaked into the pasta rather than sliding off. You could bulk it up by adding some rotisserie chicken shreds, sautéed lemony shrimp, or frozen veggies like sweet corn.

1. And This was a Treat — On the rare occasion I have to waste time by driving to a drug store to buy something that cannot be ordered online in bulk, my deal with myself is I bring home something from the cosmetics aisle as a little treat. Since you can’t try on the items and they rarely look as good in person as they do on the marketing photos, I was so pleasantly surprised when this L’Oreal lipstick and lip liner were a smash hit when I opened them up back at home. (I like L’Oreal shampoo and conditioner, too, which my hair stylist rubber stamped saying it’s the same manufacturer as the fancy in-salon brand he likes and therefore often almost identical technology and quality of ingredients.) There is something so comforting and nostalgic about a good drug store beauty find, and I love that they’re a fraction of the price of a Sephora brand. Beauty should be a fun little indulgence and these hit the mark; a subtle, pinky blush nude that makes you look finished rather than done-up. They are:

   1. L’Oreal Paris Color Riche Lipstick in “Fairest Nude” (#800) (note: try “Worth It,” too)

   2. L’Oreal Paris Color Riche Lipliner in “Worth It” (#601). (note: not “Worth It Medium”)

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2. Home Design Loading — Slowly we are tackling our new home design and this week was exciting because wallpaper went up in Cosima’s bedroom and our dining room. In Cosi’s room, the walls are “Pale Petal” by Benjamin Moore, which I selected after testing about thirty colors looking for one that matched the “Pink Sash” wallpaper by Phillip Jeffries in her prior nursery. The wall color was critical because I had already selected and bought the ceiling wallpaper — “Augustus” in blush by Schumacher. I’ve never papered a ceiling before and was nervous it would feel overwhelming, but it has the opposite effect of making the room feel more cozy yet finished. Perfect. In the dining room, we have “Regency Views” by Paul Montgomery, which I painstakingly planned out, panel by panel, to optimize the panoramic mural’s vistas relative to the room’s door and window cut-outs. I started from a vanishing point in one panel, lined it up to be in the center of not one but two hallway entries all the way to the back of the house, and worked my way out from there. Exciting!

1. In My Cart — Maybe it’s my re-launched self thanks to taking better care of my sleep, hydration, supplements, and hormones, but I’ve been feeling a pep in my step when it comes to adding to cart. I feel optimistic about the future and it’s presenting as enjoying the ordinary, such as to stumble upon affordable and stylish pieces that my future self will wear with a smile come spring. For instance, shorts feel tricky to me, but these super stylish shorts, with the A-line silhouette along with a just-different-enough styling, really caught my eye as something I can throw on for an average day but feel fashion-y. I also grabbed this $10 (!) navy striped mariner shirt as a classico wardrobe staple, and will probably refresh my daytime shoe options with a new pair of mary jane or ballerina flats from this go-to affordable source.

Thank you so much for your engagement over on Instagram! Did you see the one I posted today?! You can always shop my videos here. I’ve published videos daily for a few weeks and am loving our new format with additional text overlay, use of microphones for highest quality audio, and original ideas that let you in on my opinions and perspectives in a stylish environment.

FOLLOW ALONG

7 min read.

In this series, I interview inspiring people in my life on fascinating topics:

• Untangling the Charleston real estate scene on a South of Broad video walk with broker Elizabeth Sage (watch here),

• Glimpsing the wonderful world of Mariana “Mini” Hay Avant’s Croghan’s Jewel Box and Goldbug Collection (read here), and

• Deep diving into the makings of personal style on a video call with Greg Fricke of Peggy Mercury (watch and read here).

Today, I am thrilled to hear from Camille Henry, owner of Endsley, a stylish consignment boutique in Charleston offering only the cutest brands you know and love and educating us on “renewed fashion” and “zero waste wellness.” Camille recently visited my closet to take several large bins of gently loved clothing off my hands, and our chat left my mind blown.

Camille is a super stylish fashion girlie who happens to be an endearing, ambitious, kick-ass small business owner. Follow Camille here to see Endsley’s current sales offerings and to get fantastic tips on shopping your own closet and styling your wardrobe!

Let’s jump in to our Question-and-Answer straight from Camille…

You seem to have a very bright, driven spirit, as a young business owner! Have you always naturally been a creative force taking risks or is this a skill you developed in yourself over time? You have to start with an idea from scratch, build it over time, and probably overcome some big hurdles to start a business. What gives you the kind of energy and optimism needed for that?

I consider myself a natural risk-taker, but it was my upbringing and life experiences that gave me the confidence to act on those instincts. I grew up with entrepreneurial parents who risked everything and came out on the other side, and I always admired their “why not me” mentality. They blessed me with opportunities to attend out-of-state boarding school and live abroad all on my own by the time I was 18. Those experiences opened my eyes to the world and fueled me to do something big.

Once the idea of Endsley entered my head, I couldn’t let it go and couldn’t imagine a future without at least giving it a chance.

But above all, my faith has been my foundation. It has given me the unwavering belief from day one that regardless of the outcome of starting this business, everything will be okay.

Tell us about the life cycle of clothing—where do pieces go when we donate them, or resell them? And how can we be conscientious style gals as we shop, wear and rotate our wardrobes?

I was introduced to sustainability in high school, and from the first lesson I was hooked. I started applying that new interest to my existing love for fashion. The more I researched the more I discovered about the textile industry.

To no one’s fault, I think we’re all programmed to think that what we bring to donation centers will surely be repurchased by individuals and families in need, but the unsettling reality is that the overwhelming majority of donated clothing ends up overseas in “clothing deserts,” specifically in third world countries. The blame game never gets anyone anywhere, and shaming people for their shopping habits doesn’t either, especially when it’s not common knowledge.

But, there are ways to shop a little more mindfully: 1) Buy quality pieces (100% cottons, linens, silk, wool, etc). 2) Try hosting a clothing swap with your friends, it’s fun and free! 3) Re-wear clothing, and when you do, restyle it so it feels fresh and like it’s the first time. And, 4) give your local thrift/consignment shop a chance.

Growing up in a house hold where Bloomingdale’s and Nordstrom were regular spots my mom would take me and my sister, I understand that the secondhand world can feel far from glamorous, but my goal is to change that narrative one shopper at a time!

If you could wave a magic wand and make your career anything you ever wanted, with the sky the limit, and tomorrow (!), what would that look like? Where would you be, what would you be doing, and what is the atmosphere?

My magic wand would have Endsley storefronts in all of my favorite cities in the world. London is my biggest dream, and to name a few others: Charleston, Palm Beach, Dallas, Chattanooga, and Pawleys Island – places that have shaped who I am today and bring up happy memories.

Aside from storefront growth, I hope that Endsley encourages both older and newer generations to look at secondhand clothing through a new lens… that when someone sees that little dachshund logo they are inspired to wear something preloved, not only because it’s a more eco-friendly way to shop, but because it’s cool.

Could you share your business model and the process you created and follow to onboard pieces of clothing and resell them? How do you procure your consignments, what happens to the clothing once you have it, where do you sell it, and how on Earth do you stay organized to do all of this?

Endsley evolved into a consignment shop after a few months of being open. It was clear after just a couple months that there were lots of women in the area who desperately need to clean out their closets but were tired of receiving what felt like pennies for their quality clothing or bringing items to consignment shops and never hearing back or knowing what actually happens once they drop their clothes off.

I listened carefully to all of the feedback and did research on all kinds of consigning software systems and resale sites. From that I created a model where women can bring their clothing, explain each piece (if they want to) and why it’s special/of value, login to a system that shows the status of each listing, and receive direct online payment each month.

Items are sold in store, shipped nationwide on shopendsley.com (which funnels to Depop as well), and they are highlighted on multiple social media platforms. I owe a lot to technology, but I also ask myself “if I were bringing my clothes somewhere, what would I want that to look like,” and have made it my goal to bring that vision to life.

You have a well developed sense of personal style and use that to demonstrate how your shoppers can restyle consigned clothing into completely original or on trend outfits. Who or what do you draw style inspiration from? Are there celebrities, locations, influencers, personal experiences, or travels you rely on to spark ideas? What is your go to “I feel amazing as myself” outfit?

We have an inside joke in my family that started when I got “best dressed” as my senior superlative at a school that required uniforms.

Jokes aside, I wore loud jackets and shoes in addition to my uniforms that were all thrifted and secondhand pieces from nearby thrift shops. I think my wardrobe emulates that to this day; I love a tailored (European inspired)/minimalistic base with a funky touch. Truthfully, my favorite outfits are the ones that I initially doubt myself to wear because of what people may think – but those are the outfits that feel like me and are ironically often the crowd pleasers.

If I had to choose an influencer right now that is giving me the most inspiration, it’d be @ritamontezuma, her page is unapologetically colorful and somehow, she makes the craziest combinations of clothing look like an effortless masterpiece.

Tell us about your business name and the fabulous dog logo. What sparked the idea and what were you aiming for when introducing yourself to the world of potential clients and collaborators?

Endsley is my middle name that came from my great grandmother’s maiden name. I’ve never considered another name, it’s just what I’ve always envisioned (which caught my grandmother by surprise)!

Choosing the right logo was super important to me. I grew up with dachshunds, and there was one in particular that I loved inexplicably so! I didn’t want it to just be a letter with funky font, I steered away from stereotypical sustainability greens, neutrals, and earthy vibes, and I wanted it to feel personal to me. My branding team was hesitant when I told them I wanted a dog logo for my clothing store, but it was absolutely the best decision I could’ve made. It makes people ask “why the dog,” “who is Endsley,” and it gives a nod to my childhood pets plus a little nod to my love for the doxies across the pond!

My favorite part about it is the hidden “e” in the ear, so next time you see the logo, take a closer look. And, looking back at 2025, dachshunds were everywhere…just take a look at Anthropologie’s catalog.

Whats on your vision board for 2026, personal or professional?!

I’m feeling very optimistic about 2026.

It was just me for a while, now I have my first employee, and I see a small team developing by the end of the year. I did a quick Endsley pop-up tour last summer from Charleston to Montauk stopping in a couple east coast towns along the way, so another road trip is undoubtedly on the horizon for Summer 2026.

Other than that, we are taking things day by day!

Thank you to Camille and Endsley for the inspiration!

Follow Blaise for Daily Inspiration

4 minute read

1. Time Travel for Self Enrichment— I spent $40 on this BBC Maestro video course called “Time Management” with Oliver Burkeman and, a few modules in, it has blown my mind. This is not about productivity hacks or cracking the 40 hour work week. This is about “changing your perspective to make every moment count” of the 4,000 weeks or so we have of life. Burkeman indeed published the bestselling book 4,000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals after investigating the topic in his role as journalist at The Guardian for many years. I’ve been listening to or watching the videos, which come with a 60-page PDF, in the car or while doing my post-shower bedtime routine. Burkeman is very clear, clever, and endearing. And, perhaps most strikingly, when I listen… I feel seen; I feel understood! For instance, he begins by untangling the issue of time, commenting that our post-industrialized selves feel a sense of angst and consternation against time—that maybe if we’re lucky, we’ll just get to the end of the day, but we never, ever, do everything we wanted to do. Anthropologists calls this a “time centered” life, where as medieval agricultural folk had a “task centered” life. Meaning, they had no option (and therefore no pressure) to maximize productivity by, say, batching the cow milking to the front of the day so that they don’t waste moments switching among tasks, because the cows simply were milked when they needed to be milked. This brought a sense of contentment, in a way, because people felt like they (albeit amidst a pretty miserable existence) “lived in their life” whereas we feel we must “get out from under” our life. Wow. Read that again. This reminded me of an observation I’ve made about who among my mom friends seems the most consistently content, and it is often the women who are “just a stay at home mom right now” and not also working or trying to launch a side hustle (it’s me!). They are enjoying the (albeit kind of boring) toddler day because they take it for what it is and aren’t trying to get out from under dinner time so that they can squeeze in an hour of laptop work, for instance. As Burkeman articulates, productivity not about “doing more” in the time we have, it’s about identifying what is important at that time. Food for thought…. Anyway… This video course is fascinating stuff, you guys. I can’t wait to learn a new skill in this respect because Burkeman will give us specific tools. I highly recommend replacing scrolling with BBC Maestro or the similar MasterClass program.

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2. Reaching New Lengths Thanks to These Products — I’ve had short hair for years and love it. Big fan of short hair. At the shortest, I like “an inch of daylight” between the high nape of the shoulder and the hair. At the longest, “collarbone” will do. I’ve also had very long hair in my life, but feel like it now looks healthiest and therefore most stylish when it’s a “lob”; however, my stylist convinced me to grow it out for a change (which he had ample opportunity to do since I see him every 8 weeks on the nose). I was hesitant because my hair tends to be puffy and frizzy, and only want longer hair if the texture is soft and it looks shiny. Luckily, I have found some miracle hair products that are turning my hair silky! It’s kind of exciting to find items that allow you to pivot your style. To get my hair from the unruly, poofy, irregular waves and curls I wake up with into the smooth and soft volume straight hair I like, I put a touch of this “one minute transformation” balm onto dry hair, plus I’ve been using this amazing spray on dry hair. I also use this additional spray. This combo of products has made a world of difference and I’m excited to embrace the change. I found the second and third through the Abby Yung Method, which basically tells you which drug store products are effective and right for your hair. Fun!

3. Cue the Color on the Home Front — On the home renovation and design front, I spent much of last week’s preschool hours meeting with our designer (Molly Basile) and contractor (Pate Dominick) to circle in on the biggest projects: renovating our kitchen and three bathrooms. Once I have those costs and timeline more settled, I can then know what I have to spend on the overall home design. Wallpaper, however, is something that we’ve already been selecting because it is what it is, and we have installation scheduled for the dining room and Cosima’s bedroom ceiling (in “blush”). Now, I think the powder room is going to be this fabulous design (in “juniper/petal”), with the room having a brass vanity and a marble top in a fabulous green, veiny stone. (I’ve done rabbit hole research into marble and decided if I see one more piece of Viola in a new-build house I’m going to die of boredom. I’m looking for something really unique and hunky and, since I only need a small remnant, I’m waiting to find the perfect piece.) PS: If you are obsessed with marbleized paper as I am, check Etsy for these incredible lamp shades and related decor in the designer paper and fabric! What a great way to incorporate the look without going full kahuna.

4. Sake To Me — Tonight I am going on a friend date with my fabulous girlfriend, Charlie. (When we first became friends via preschool drop-off, it did occur to me to tell Phil that I made a new mom friend named Charlie because if I were a husband and saw that name without context popping up on my text notifications several times in a row I’d be a little weirded out, LOL.) I’m excited for a low key weeknight jam session and to dive head first into gorgeous sushi at Shiki. I’ve heard people chatter about this downtown restaurant for years, but never put it at the top of my list, for no good reason. Tonight is the night! Much of the Charleston restaurant scene is kind of scene-y or theme-y and we don’t have as many “upscale locals’ neighborhood dinner” spots as you would think. I wish we had more “American brasserie around the corner” joints. (Do you know of any I should go to?!) This restaurant is easy to pass by as it’s in a small shopping center, essentially, but boasts a pretty and understated interior design and is known for the best “I live here” sushi in town. (Yes, I would rather not go to 167 Raw.) I’m really looking forward to it and feel so glad to be on the receiving end of this simple and meaningful dinner-party-for-two invite.

Thank you so much for your engagement over on Instagram! I’ve published videos daily for a few weeks and am loving our new format with additional text overlay, use of microphones for highest quality audio, and original ideas that let you in on my opinions and perspectives in a stylish environment. I’m so glad you’re along for the ride.

FOLLOW ALONG

I never used to think about Valentine’s Day in advance. Not because I did not care about the holiday (I actually love it), but because it required no advance preparation on my part because I was on the receiving end. Then, as a mom to a three year old daughter, and I realized I was in the driver’s seat for the big day of love. With Valentine’s Day one whole month away, I’ve already ordered gifts for Cosima to give her classmates, ordered gifts for my niece and nephew, sent out invitations to a toddler afternoon Valentine party, and am eyeing a nostalgic little treat for myself.

I love Valentine’s Day! It breaks up the post-Christmas winter season. It is an excuse to embrace anything sappy, cringey and dopey. And, frankly, I don’t mind getting some flowers or a nice little gift! But, more seriously, I like to use it as a model for Cosima to determine what she should expect from future boyfriends (yikes at that thought) by Phil and I making the day special for her (Phil will give her flowers, for instance) in a way that she’ll know should be replicated by some young man (yikes!) years down the road.

Valentine’s Day is a made-up holiday predicated on nothing but feeling cutesy and sharing love. If you are a serious or busy person, maybe it’s the perfect opportunity to nudge yourself into a day of random enjoyment. A box of candy, a bouquet of supermarket flowers, or a galentine happy hour with girlfriends. As I wrote out my V Day plan below, it struck me as a little extra. But I am okay with that.

Because I hope this share, in which I’ll outline my plans for the day, serves as a springboard for you to seek out a tiny bit of rose colored joy for yourself, and to gift to others, this February.

1. A caffeine fueled treat, from me to me.

I am not a seasonal themed decor person, but I really surprised myself LOVING my new Christmas coffee mugs all December long. I looked forward to them every single morning. I’ve decided to carry on the joy with Valentine themed mugs for February. Why not?! I’m getting these…

2. A nostalgic comfort (also from me to me, hehe).

GAP made a series of pointelle knit pajama sets and lounge outfits, and there is something about that fabric that brings me straight back to being a 14 year old with a book in hand in bed, or at a slumber party trying on eye shadows watching MTV. A simple time of Delia’s catalog shopping, a fresh Beverly Hills 90210 episode each week, and no internet in the palm of our hand. Comforting and nostalgic, is how I want to feel this February. I saved my cart here for you to browse and shop.

3. Classmate Valentines.

Thanks to Etsy, there are bountiful options for cutie customized class gifts. Whoever out there makes these creative items also makes moms look good when we’re literally just adding to cart. I tend to over overboard with these types of things because I so enjoy scrolling the options. This year, I controlled my urge to distribute a puppy or pony by instead ordering these custom stickers to put on a Goldfish snack bag that the teacher will hand out. A simple little something to brighten the car ride home.

4. Gifts for my niece and nephew.

For my sister’s children, I ordered more custom gifts from Etsy… A personalized little clay heart embossed with their name, with a mini paint set for a pint sized arts-and-craft. Plus one for Cosima. These would be very cute as a playdate or party activity and hopefully serve as a sweet keepsake to bring home and set out as a paperweight or bookshelf decor.

5. A gift basket for Cosima.

Is this a Southern thing, where on any holiday the child receives a cute gift basket stuffed with themed stocking stuffer style items? Because I do not recall getting a gift basket several times a year as a child. I am honestly not a huge fan of bestowing a large gift basket to a little kid on a regular basis—I think a little something and flowers are wonderful enough—but since everyone else seems to do it, I can’t have her missing out. I have no idea how to put together a great gift basket and don’t have the time or interest to stroll Target aisles and figure it out. Instead, I have my best gal Mason making one for me—she is the owner of Katherine Beck Gifts in Oxford, Mississippi, and her specialty is literally making thousands of outrageous gift baskets during sorority rush week. She’s got this covered and will be making me look good! You can shop her fabulous store of hostess gifts, home items, jewelry, and all the goodies on her website.

In this series, I quick fire the inspiration making my week a tiny bit more thrilling, from “add to cart” to “food for thought.”

4 minute read

1. Professional Closet Cleanse - Today I did something I’d never done before! I had a home visit from Camille Henry, owner of Endsley, a stylish new consignment shop here in Charleston. She and her team sorted through large bins of clothing and accessories I’d been holding on to for years—mainly gently worn pieces from brands you know and love that I’d outgrown and were not sentimental—to list for sale in her beautiful boutique, as well as online. Consignment stores can feel sort of disheveled, but Camille is so savvy and stylish that it carries over into her brick-and-mortar space, morphing it from thrift store vibes into a shopping experience. They checked off hours and hours of work from my to do list, and I even got a quick education on the lifecycle of clothing and how to be a good world citizen in this regard. (Stay tuned for “Ten Minutes with Camille” to dip into this fascinating world! I learned a lot.) Camille will be making home visits a new service offered, so reach out to her if you’re interested in Charleston and follow her for inspiration on how to style your own closet, in the meantime.

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2. Now We’re Cooking - I am making preliminary decisions with our designer and contractor on our kitchen renovation, and I stumbled across this video on Instagram, to which I keep returning for cabinetry inspiration. I love the neutral color that is creamy instead of cool in tone, the old world hardware, the built-in cabinetry feel up at the top, and the fluting or reeding touches. It feels more like a warm library than cold kitchen. I’m also really drawn to walnut in both islands and range hoods. I want our kitchen to feel like a lived-in room with heritage sensibility and soft furnishings, not a prep space with echoing sounds and hard edges. I’m aiming high on this one. Reverse Google Image has become my best friend lately; I screen-grab and search images to drill down into the source, which has lead me to specific colors, brands, and manufacturers. It’s also a fab way to find out what someone is wearing if you spy a cute outfit in a photo!

3. It’s the Tiny Things - A gal messaged me on Instagram asking if I had a favorite book light, which was thrilling because it is such a specific request and I absolutely do have one! I’ve used this book light for years and years. It has three dimmer settings, is soft light, feather light, and the perfect size. It’s also a fabulous little flashlight if you need to take a peek at something at night. I truly look forward to using it when I read in bed in the dark. It’s so cozy and a tiny thrill, indeed.

4. The Other Georgetown - Phil and I have a local getaway planned to Georgetown, South Carolina (not D.C.!) to explore and enjoy The George Hotel, a relatively new spot threatening with a big smile to turn the sleepy locals’ locale into a hospitality destination as is big sister Charleston. I’m a huge fan of embracing what “fun” means to you, with no shame. For me, as a mom to a young cutie, my “fun” is thoroughly enjoyed as a humble, simple “fun.” I am not interested in long airplane rides to faraway places. That would not be fun to me. And I would take a long lunch date over an 8 PM dinner where I miss bedtime any day. But I remain interested in going to entirely new places, room service, oysters at the seaside bar, and being a tourist. The sweet spot is a one night getaway within driving distance, and I am happy as a clam. I’ve been wanting to check out tiny Georgetown for quite a while, and will report back! What about you? Is there a favorite place to which you could do a 36 hour vacation to near your town? In NYC, one of my favorite day trips was to Beacon, New York, to visit Dia Beacon and enjoy the incredible farm-to-table American bistro style restaurants in the Hudson River Valley.

5. Bold Baubles - You may have read that I am bullish on big change, and the vibe is carrying over into jewelry, with bold baubles. A favorite retailer for chunky, moody, fashion piece is Mango, and a quick browse at the 70% sale (on an already well priced brand) did not disappoint. This gold choker necklace is a Jerry Hall dream. These green resin earrings are like cat eyes at $17 (!). This pendant necklace must be added to cart immediately for its earthy Hermes vibes. Another favorite source for “come and find me” statement pieces is Curio Garden, a small batch artsy gal in Savannah, and of course Lizzie Fortunato. (PS: how inspiring is this video on the LF website of the twin sisters giving a glimpse into their process? Lizzie is the designer and Catherine is the operations guru; they started the business when Catherine gave Lizzie her $10,000 Goldman Sachs bonsu with a note saying, “follow your dreams.” Brings me tears! Watch the video on the “Brand” tab. I would love to start intentionally collecting LF pieces.)

FOLLOW ALONG

It’s a new year, as I write to you on January 11th. But, it’s fair to say I’ve been bullish on big change for several months now.

As a naturally measured, deliberate, and thoughtful person (hellooooo from Virgo land!), I can get “decision paralysis” and never pull the trigger on a move. I’m sick of that! So I’ve been pushing myself to be decisive without so much worrying about the outcome. It has been freeing.

Feel like something needs to be changed? Rather than researching and weighing ad nauseam then feeling like I’ll never have all the information so I can’t pick a side, I do a healthy amount of contemplating and then…. change it. I can always change back!… Right?… RIGHT?!

If you are a “free spirit,” this approach might sound obvious. But for me, and many of you, it’s been a healthy pivot. The more I exercise this muscle, the stronger it becomes and, honestly, I’m becoming a bit addicted to the confidence and freedom. The more I change, the more I want to embrace change! It has a snowball effect that is thrilling.

With that in mind, and hopefully as an inspiring launch pad for your own list, here are the top five big, bold changes I’ve made that paid off big.

1. Moving to Charleston - I moved to Charleston in 2018. Alone. When I’d never lived anywhere by my native New York. I decided I needed a change because the way I spent my time in NYC (bored and isolated) did not align with how I felt on the inside (happy and vibrant), so I found a new job, packed up my car with my little dachshund, Ollie, and drove myself to a city I picked somewhat at random. I had no ties to Charleston—I knew one person in town whom I had not seen in years, had zero family here, no connection to the schools, no “in” with the legal industry. I started from scratch. I soon met Phil, made some of the best friends I’ve ever had, and became so ingrained in my job that I stayed for five years (four more than the intended duration) before pausing to have Cosima. When I quit my sought after job at Cadwalader in New York, the lawyers there said they were happy for my impressive federal court clerkship, but also conveyed that they thought I was taking a somewhat provincial sabbatical down to the South and would quickly return to my Manhattan desk rolling my eyes and glad to be back. I knew the entire time I might never return, and it was a thrill to follow my gut.

2. Moving Houses - We moved out of the Old Village neighborhood for a reason. When Phil and I bought that house in 2020, from a townhouse downtown on Colonial Lake, it felt idyllic—a harbor side enclave distinct from the peninsula with primarily older families and long term residents. Fast forward to 2025 and, perhaps as a mom, I became more aware of our surroundings with my eyes wide open to our family values. I noticed things that had perviously gone right over my head, and we started to feel like we didn’t fit the neighborhood mold. The area also changed tremendously, shifting from a sleepy water-front village populated by those who had been there for a long time, to a crowded offshoot for young families eager to keep up with the Joneses but also take advantage of the local public elementary school. Golf carts zooming by driven by a lady with a glass of wine in hand? Check. Day drinking parents not minding their children? Yup. Middle school boys careening by on motorized bikes (and running down a woman’s little dog on the leash [not joking])? Yes. The sounds of Shem Creek boat bars echoing from a few blocks away? Yeah. The scent of weed coming from the windows of restaurant workers’ cars parked on the curb? Oui oui. So, we moved! We switched neighborhoods deliberately and could not be happier. Our new environment feels more aligned with who we are, and that that brings a sense of ease and peace. Yes, we were very sad to move out of our house—our first house as a couple and with newborn Cosima, where our dog died in the back yard grass and so much life was lived. Phil and I are both sentimental people, but pushing ourselves to keep moving forward has paid off hugely, with even Cosima walking around saying, “I love our new house” and “I love our neighborhood.”

3. Embracing Extreme Ownership - I sometimes feel angsty that I never seem to get to the bottom of my to do list as a mom because, just logistically, I simply have fewer hours in the day to dedicate to myself. This is very normal! But as a Type A person, it was getting me down and causing a sense of consternation, because chopping through To Dos and feeling productive and organized is how I create ease and flow. I used be a zero inbox person, and now I have to add “text back dog walker” to my Don’t Forget list. I hated that. But, I then read this book, and decided to shut the fuck up and do something about that feeling. Now, I take “Extreme Ownership” for my life (or, let’s be honest, I do like 85% of the time which is a vast improvement). So if I have a huge task I want to get done that is important to me, but I’m too exhausted by the end of the day to do it (compared to my pre-baby self), I remember that I am the product of my own choices and if I really wanted to do it (clean our my closet, cook dinner ahead of time, research summer camp options, figure out how to get another dog, find myself a new doctor…) I could simply stay up until one in the morning and get it finally done. Yes, I would be exhausted the next day. Yes, that is not ideal. But getting it finished, done, crossed off, is entirely within my control and the realm of possibility. It makes me feel more in control to remember that it is totally still an option. It might be uncomfortable, but it can absolutely be done. Today. This is both a mindset shift and a practical tool. As a result of this life approach, I’ve made significant changes to my routines such as to go to sleep earlier, wake up earlier, and chomp through things I want to do. I’ve heard that a “hard” part of being a mom is this shift into feeling you have less control over your time—which is why a lot of moms stay up late doom scrolling on their phone, to sort of prove to themselves that they can do whatever they want with their time, even if in this self-sabotaging way because it’s bad for your brain and you should be sleeping. This “extreme ownership” vibe has erased a lot of that for me and put a spring back in my step. Highly recommend this quick read.

1. Copy-and-Pasting Inspiration - This is an odd one, and I feel kind of awkward trying to articulate it. Lots of people really enjoy scrolling Pinterest for inspiration photos of home design, or Zillow for real estate aspirational listings, or blogs/influencers for fashion finds. I’ve never enjoyed those things. To me, I just see a zillion beautiful ideas and new products that are not mine, I want them, but I don’t know how to make them fit into my world, I don’t know how to break them down into something I can do for myself, and I just go back to my little box of what I already know and have, feeling kind of like I’m pining for something I could actually have if not for my own confusion about how to make it original to me. Lately, I’ve decided to just “copy and paste” those things I find deeply beautiful and stylish into my life, because why the hell not. Here is an example: Aerin Lauder’s Park Avenue dressing room is a hallmark of style. I do not currently live in a pre-war Park Avenue apartment valued at about $48 million with ten inch casement walls, classic “eight over eight” iron windows, or crown moulding from 1929. But, over here in Charleston, I happen to be turning an unused guest room into my “dressing room / office” and I have decided to buy the exact same wallpaper (or close to it), make the exact same silk and tassel drapes (or close to them), have a wall of built-in closed cabineted closets made, and put my glass desk in there just like she has. I have always been deeply inspired by that room and what it represents, and so instead of wishing I could come up with my own version of it from scratch, I’m going to copy her room into my life. Does this mean I lack originality or personal style? Maybe, or maybe it’s kind of freeing and now I can start happily measuring and ordering my way to my dream closet instead of reinventing the wheel. Another example? “Ensemble dressing” in which I am inspired by the way a retailer styles an article of clothing on the website model, and so I buy it, but I also buy the suggested article of clothing it is paired with so that I have a ready-made outfit. For example, I saw these ivory silk pants and got them, and tested my theory by also getting the knit top they’re shown with. I’ve worn the pants a dozen times already, and the matching sweater was a smash outfit that I put my own spin on last week with a tiger eye necklaces and leopard knit jacket. Why not short cut myself to the chic outfit, and put my own spin on it with my accessories. Embracing this “copy and paste” attitude and having no shame about it has eased a lot of the sense of “ugh, I wish I could have that, but I don’t know where to start” kind of feeling.

2. Changing Religions — Kind of wild when I say it that way! I was raised Catholic (baptized and confirmed), and we attended church on and off growing up. When Phil and I were having Cosima, we literally sat down one night to decide what religion our family should be. Luckily, Phil read philosophy at Oxford and so has a vast understanding of world religion, and I had a clear vision for the type of experience best for Cosima to be raised in. We were also on the same page about the type of relationship with the church we found appealing (no “Jesus is my boyfriend,” no acoustic guitars, and no mega church light shows…) We joined the Episcopal church, baptized Cosima, started attending every week, then Phil and I took a course and were confirmed by the Bishop. So, we’re all officially Episcopalian now and it’s so fantastic. I just love it. The philosophy, the church we attend, the people there, the atmosphere… No looking back!

What changes are you eyeing? are big, bold, bullsih moves are on your horizon?!

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MY OUTFIT

7 minute read.

Yesterday, I had an intriguing chat with a friend and peer regarding our respective content creation businesses.

Our conversation turned to the topic of agents and managers for content creators, with her testing out that resource and myself sharing that I was contemplating contacting an individual with a regional network of brands to “put myself back on her radar” and “re-introduce myself.” I wanted this woman to be aware that, since we last crossed paths more regularly a few years ago before I prioritized stay at home mom land, I’ve become pretty apt at this whole “sharing my life in an influential way” business.

It’s arduous, intentional, constant work. But it works. For instance, I wake up to having made money in my sleep with affiliate links. Enough money that I satisfy my $80,000 SUV’s monthly payment a few times over, each month. I am asked to mentor women on how to do this, and provide that service and support to them for a fee. I love my clients. I am approached by brands to spread the good word for them. Sometimes this is a (relatively nominal) paid gig, and sometimes I am contacted by a small business asking for my support and I am glad to give it gratis, which is really gratifying to think that I have a platform a small business owner would want to stand on. Most importantly, I have a solid orbit of extraordinary women from all corners of the country following along and engaging with me on Instagram (~9,000 women) and LTK (~2,100 women) where I create high quality, unique, personalized, brave videos and photography. Here on Substack, 600 souls asked to receive my messages via email, with 60 paying their hard earned money for this more personal take each week. Wow!

I have a lot to share, and am proud of the way in which I do so.

And yet, yesterday, as I mentioned to this friend that it had been on my to do list to reach out to this industry professional and essentially make her aware of my achievements, I heard my own voice trail off… I had trouble finishing my own thought…

Because why, exactly, did I want to make this woman aware of my business? What purpose would that serve me? Why was this task on my to do list, again?

And today, as I sit here, I again find myself grasping to close the loop. I need to figure this out.

So I will rely on a very valuable lesson I learned while working as a first year litigation associate at K&L Gates, where the man whom many in the firm thought was the scariest, meanest old dinosaur of a partner with a corner office seemed to have adopted me as his go-to gal, to my glee and every other associate’s horror.

One day, he explained to me a trick he used to find the crux of an argument; a trick I use to this day when confronting problems professional and personal. In this instance, it got me to the bottom of my “influencer purpose” quagmire, and it’s something you can lean on, too.

It was 2015, and he had me working on a very complex litigation that involved a federal court case and a parallel international arbitration out of an oil dispute in Brazil. The facts had been unwinding and re-tangling for a decade, and getting up to speed was a bear of a task itself, let alone wrapping the facts around my little finger enough to make an argument.

This partner got out a legal pad and pen, and started to free hand write down a list of the basic facts and timeline:

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In this series, I quick fire the inspiration making my week a tiny bit more thrilling, from “add to cart” to “food for thought.”

4 minute read

1. From 'Tini Time… — Part of the “Re-Launch of Myself” project is to have more fun, and what better way than to make martinis my personality. But don’t write me off as an alchy, because this is more strategic than you’d think: the few times I go out in the evening, a glass of soporific wine will send me straight to snooze town, and a flute of fizzy champagne isn’t as tasty as you’d think unless it’s super primo. What better alternative than to order one perfectly gorgeous, ice cold, slightly dirty martini and sip on it for the entire outing?! I’ve tested out my new ’tini time hobbie thrice over the past few weeks, and each was a smashing success. I had something delicious and festive in front of me, without Mr. Sandman sidling up, and it just lends a flair of fabulous to the general vibe. Next step is to identify the perfect vodka to request with obnoxious specificity. Which do you think is “the best” vodka? Let me know…

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2. …To Toddler Time — Taking a hard left turn from ’Tini Time, LOL… I’ve hit a stride finding on-the-go toys that will keep Cosima’s hands and mind busy for, oh, twelve to forty minutes. These have come in handy at church now that she says the playroom “is for babies,” as well as in our standing brunch booth. The trick is of course to hide-and-rotate the loot, whipping one out at a time with fake aplomb for a specific outing. So far, the “Grab and Go Dough Jars” from Young, Wild & Friedman are our favorites and, because they’re entirely sold out post-Christmas, can be hunted down on individual retailers’ sites like this one. The Magna-Tiles “Micro-Mag” travel box is a big hit to build scenes on the magnetic tray, and the “Magneti Book” had Cosima’s attention for an entire leisurely meal out the first time I revealed it (also works great as a carseat toy). Let me know if you have more ideas for my list.

3. A Bandana Bandit — Silk scarves in the smaller “bandana” square have been a tiny thrill for me, adding the classicism of a silk scarf with the hipness of the easier to wrangle dimensions. This $60 Madewell scarf—now $30 with code “winter”—is high on my hit list for its groovy geometric design reminding me of the Philip Johnson designed inlaid floor at my own N.Y.U. undergrad library. Similarly, this $200 Mulberry scarf has been calling my name for weeks, with its sophisticated black-on-navy leopard print. Silk scarves are a wonderful item to start collecting for yourself, adding to your stash each special occasion to create a wardrobe to impress your future octogenarian self.

4. Bespoke and Beguiling — My obsession with custom suiting content, from the textile mills of Florence to the cutting benches of Mayfair (and, most especially, this bloke’s cerebral take on traditional English men’s wear), lead me down a rabbit hole closer to home. Namely, to Serna bespoke, a North Carolina based leather atelier fabricating limited run bags, briefcases and belts. The “Chanel” and “Maritime Canvas Tote” caught my eye and I’m getting a tiny thrill from following along with Joshua Serna and his eponymous leather grained adventures. (PS: Speaking of pastoral adventures and bespoke creations, above is a photo of the “Regency views” panoramic mural wallpaper we’re having installed in the dining room soon. I cannot wait to show you on Instagram.)

FOLLOW ALONG

NB: I wanted to send this to you well before New Year’s Eve so that you can mull it over, but hitting send today means you’ll have two consecutive messages from me, with tomorrow our “Tiny Thrills Tuesday.” I actually have a lot to say and often hold back ideas to stagger emails in fear that you’ll get sick of me. Specifically since, a long time ago when I was on a roll and feeling proud, someone sent me an email saying she couldn’t keep up with my “email blasts” and was unsubscribing and wished me the best. Ever since then, I feel self conscious. Hmmm… Maybe I’m onto something and should take note of this of “being held back by feeling self-conscious” when I ask myself the below 26 questions?! You’ll see what I mean once you review them… They are thought provoking, to say the least.

And, in fact, that is exactly what I love about this platform: if you want it, here it is! And if you don’t, you can unsubscribe from emails, but float back to the website on your own accord. Either way, I’m glad you’re here! xo

I am a big fan of the “vision-to-goals-to-tasks” approach to designing your life. But this is not a vision board, where you snip inspiration and then hope for the best. This is much more particular and action oriented, wherein rather than drafting an ad hoc list of things you want or tasks to do, you start big. Really big. With a vision—you see, smell, feel and touch your ideal day. Then you work backwards, creating an inverted pyramid in which the vision flows down into goals, and those goals trickle into tiny tasks. With consistency, tasks can compound into goals, and the goals compile into the vision.

The first step is to draft your vision, which can be daunting. I recommend prompting yourself with these 25 questions, plus the big kahuna at number 26.

Answer each quickly and intuitively, without judgment. Then, review your answers and identify any through-lines—common people, places, actions or assumptions that may be holding you back or propelling you forward. Then, slice and dice into goals that may indeed seem too vague or big, but that is okay because you then dissect each goal into one or two bite sized tasks.

Let’s give it a shot for 2026…

1. If you were in a room with everyone you’ve ever met, who is the first person you’d look for?

2. If you spent the next ten years of your life like the last ten years, would you regret it?

3. If a stranger examined your routines and habits, what would they assume are your priorities and values?

4. What easily distracts you?

5. If you had 30 hours in a day, how would you spend the extra time?

6. What is your super power?

7. If the success were guaranteed, which dream would you jump on today?

8. Who do you let into your head whom you wouldn’t invite to your dinner table?

9. Have you been consistent enough to achieve the results you want?

10. How do you want to be remembered?

11. What is the biggest lie you tell yourself about why you aren’t where you want to be?

12. If the next 1,000 days looked exactly like yesterday, would you be closer or further from your dreams?

13. What is something you are tolerating?

14. Who are you no longer willing to be?

15. What do you love most about your life right now?

16. Is it not happening, or is it just taking a while?

17. Do you aspire to be like the people in your circle?

18. If your ten-year old self met yourself today, would she be proud?

19. Think of the ten people you interact with most in your weekly life. If you spotted each across a crowded room but they did not see you, would you keep walking by or run over to say hello?

20. Identify one thing that is working; can you do it more consistently?

21. What is the number one thing you procrastinate on that you know would change your life?

22. If someone else had all of your daily habits, would you bet on her to succeed?

23. What causes you stress or agitation day-to-day?

24. What is something about you that surprises others?

25. What were the most disappointing, and the most motivating, moments of your week?

Much of this list is inspired by a post from @the_human_design_coach, as well as from a journal I have called “Dig Deeper” by Inside Then Out with daily prompts. Several questions are my own. I cannot find the source for No. 26 other than to recall that it is my own take on an article I saw regarding surprising and cut-throat habits of extremely successful and productive people in business who meet their goals much faster than the average person.

SHOP MY VIDEOS

5 min. read. Be sure to read the entire post on BB.com since I included too many fabulous ideas puny email to carry. There is a link to read in full at the bottom. See you there.

December 26th: the day after Christmas Day. Which itself was the grand finale of what felt like a six month long whirling snow globe of Christmas fun. Dinners. Events. Parties. Activities. Performances. Preschool parades. Gift shopping. Gift hiding. Gift assembling. Gift wrapping. Tree decorating. Christmas card designing. Stocking filling.

I am now a snow globe of conflicting emotions. I feel nostalgic for the winter magic not even yet over, but also restless for what is next to come. I’m craving both a cozy and slow day at home, and the clean cadence of our normal routine. I just booked a lunch date and the sitter for myself and Phil (at Chez Nous) for some alone time after a busy season of friends and family, but also cried when everyone left!

There is only one appropriate and entirely reasonable coping mechanism:

To succumb to the endless post-Christmas sales. Within reason, of course! Here is what’s in my shopping cart!

1. The Lodge Pant in Satin from Aritzia

I ordered these pants ($110 right now instead of $140) once I realized they’re a structured, heavy fabric that don’t show every divot and dimple. Exactly what we need to counteract the fluid silhouette. The result: slouchy sexy dinner party at Gwyneth’s in Brentwood, not “these are my pajama pants.” I sized down in these and am glad I did because while they’re cut straight instead of, well, huge, the style itself leaves ample room on its own. Bonus for the flattering slash pockets. Highly recommend these pants in any color that you love.

2. The Ezra Linton Blazer from Rag & Bone

I am a sucker for structured tweed jackets. Thrown on with some ballet flats and button fly denim, and I’m in cool girl cosplay heaven. This brown-on-black wardrobe hero is on sale for $195 instead of $700 (!!), so I got my usual size and will wear the hell out of this for years to come. The perfect structured tweed blazer is one of those unicorn items I always have my eyes open for—especially when they’re the correct hip bone length rather than cropped up at the waist—and the discount from this retailer called me like a siren.

3. The Kiria Dress from Reformation

I eyed this dress for a long time before pulling the trigger and, boy, am I glad I did. The dark and moody floral (among several colors and prints available) is how I’ll roll through our Southern winter and straight into hot Charleston spring. It is perfect. The flattering (and not infantilizing) smocking and dropped waist divert the eye from imperfections, and the versatile styling will perfectly sling under a leather jacket for fall, blazer for church or school events, under layers of bright candy necklaces in summer, and with suede boots all winter long. Jackpot. If you liked this Dôen dress I have in two floral prints and wear constantly, but want a bit more flexibility of springy smocking, consider Kiria your new best friend. I sized down and it worked out very well. This is another wardrobe hero piece that I’ll lean on far into the future.

4. The Fringe Top from Karen Millen

Maybe I have a hero complex, but that’s just fine if I get to show up to martinis with my girlfriends this week in this Gladiator top! The chartreuse color is my jam as a green-eyed girl, but the olive green (or check out the merlot) had my in my tracks. At 40% off I had to give it a shot. I want to pair this artsy top with black cigarette pants and a black cardigan hanging off the shoulders, with some big architectural bracelets on one wrist. I might cut down the lining so it’s not visible at the neckline. Cheers to wearing something unabashedly different for once!

5. The Pacey Faux Fur from Walter Baker

The internet blessed my feed and sent me down the rabbit hole to “The Sweet Paisana” — I now I live in a dreamland of “a Goodfellas Christmas” instead of “a Ralph Lauren Christmas.” When I stumbled upon this perfect leopard print coat—and as you know, I am very picky about animal prints so they must be ranging and dark rather than a perfect polka dot—I knew it was kismet. For $199 instead of $500, I just know this leopard coat will become my alter ego as soon as it arrives. It says “who does she think she is” and I’m here for it! If you see me wandering around the supermarket with giant black sunglasses on, this coat, and jeans, feel free to wink.

6. The Metallic Trouser from Reiss

Reiss is one of my secret sources for anti-trendy high style that makes me feel like a “jewelry designer splitting her time between Paris and Los Angeles with one weekend per month in Nolita but with a standing drinks date uptown at The Carlyle.” When I see a conflation of uptown and downtown—here, pleated and cuffed trousers, but in a disco ball bronze or merlot—I immediately swivel my head. I know I will wear these up and down town for years, with an untucked button down shirt and strappy sandals for school drop-off with coffee, or a tall Manolo pump and blazer over my shoulders for dinner. I appreciate the option for petite sizing and had to hold myself back from grabbing the coordinating suit jacket. On sale for $112 instead of $225, this was a no brainer for my long-term closet goals.

7. The Satin Party Dress from Loft

First $120, then $90, and now… $30 (!). Universally flattering with the square neckline, dropped waist, and bouncy skirt that kicks off exactly where you want the fabric to lend some coverage, this dress is what I wish I’d had on hand for Christmas season ‘25 and so I’m going to roll into ‘26 prepared. The merlot and sapphire colors make almost everyone feel merry and bright, but I might just lean on the merlot for a Valentine’s Day season dinner. This is a classic and stylish dress and, for $30, you simply have nothing—well, fine, you have 2.5 Starbucks—to lose! It will sell out soon.

8. The Peplum Top from Mango

We need a “going out top” that lives squarely in a land of uptown martinis, not dockside daiquiris. Stylish but not overtly sexy, the off-the-shoulder silhouette reads more architecturally obsessed Bond girl than 1980s bridal, and I absolutely love how Mango gives us a high-res close-up photo of the structured, suiting inspired fabric. This top will be what I reach for when I’m endeavoring to get out the door for a sophisticated evening and want to wear something discrete and authentic to my urban upbringing. I grabbed an XS and recommend you take advantage of the sale, at $40 plus an extra 10% off with code “winter10”. We simply cannot go wrong here.

1. How I felt and why I wanted that to change.

2. How the first doctor I visited was not helpful.

3. How the doctor I ultimately found helped! I’ll give you his name and contact information, tell you exactly what I did in my initial visit (it involves a machine I’d never heard of), and show you the results (a screenshot of the document he shared) as well as what we discussed for 45 minutes during my return visit.

4. The list of supplements and prescriptions I’ve been taking since. How I adjusted the dosage to suit me and if my skepticism for supplements has been ameliorated.

5. How I now feel, a few weeks later! If I can maintain the consistency, and if I’d do anything differently.

My goal is to uplift, inspire and support. We’re in this together. Maybe what works for me will work for you! Or, maybe it is a spark of inspiration to get curious. I’m glad you’re here.

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In this series, I love bomb you with hot takes making my week a tiny bit more thrilling, from “add to cart” to “food for thought.”

1. Popovers on the menu — I am a big fan of fur and faux fur jackets and vests because they harken to the “sciura,” which in Italian is a “powerful, affluent, and stylish older woman from Milan known for her impeccable blend of traditional taste and modern elegance” (according to Google’s AI function). I have this vest and wear it night and day, with a friend always asking to feel it and wonder where I got it. Now, this Marie Oliver “Cordelia popover” is on my wishlist as a sleeveless over-the-head alternative. I love the mock neck and want to pair it with everything from button fly jeans and ballet flats to clingy dresses for drinks out. So chic that it closes at the side with leather bows, too. It’s $375 and you get 15% off when you subscribe to the newsletter. Speaking of which…

2. My secret email address — Do you use this trick, where you have a specific Gmail account just to input when a website insists on capturing your information? Rather than relying on the spam filter or illusive unsubscribe button, try this: create an email address nobody but you uses. It’s perfect to grab that newsletter induced discount or when the kindly checkout lady wants to keep you in the know and you feel too bad to say no.

3. Fire it up — Charleston seems to be having a surge (resurgence?) in book stores with the recent additions of “The Archive” and “Sweeter Than Fiction.” Both are aimed to women readers, the former a dramatic and moody cappuccino bar featuring “dark academia” and the latter a candy land of rom-com and beach reads stacked against pop art stickers and canvas totes. For me, once I finish my current read, I’m going to charge up the ole’ Kindle and load it up with Conform and Mean Moms. I love holding a paper bound book, but I also love how the Kindle tells you how many more pages and minutes of reading are left to the chapter and novel. It makes me feel kind of competitive and I find I read faster!

4. So nice I bought it twice — These navy pants are a wardrobe hero, coming in off the bench when I need something polished but wearable, neither denim nor trousers. The hidden side zipper means the waist drawstring can remain less bunchy than otherwise, and that deep squid ink blue draws me in. I recently got them in this gorg ivory and was interested to see if the fabric would hold up in a light color. Bingo. They’re just as perfect and I plan to wear mine with a new winter white chunky cashmere sweater. You can size down in the pants and, because I’m just at a loss getting dressed lately, throw in the “sheer alpaca crew neck” sweater in “barley” like I did for a done-and-done outfit.

5. Lovely chatting with you — This week, you and I had daily chit chats about my happy place Christmas coffee mugs (two for $15), color sandwich outfits, a chartreuse obsession, some sciura worthy finds for under $200 from Mango, and why the leopard print cardigan jacket we nabbed for $50 is perhaps the best animal print rendering I’ve seen. LTK is a fantastic place for me to chat at you because, unlike Instagram, there is no algorithm keeping us apart; if you follow me, you will actually see my videos rather than “suggested content” or ads. How novel for you and thrilling to me. Come join 2,100 gals in the convo.

In this essay, I walk you through a specific moment in my morning that held a powerful reminder: we are what we eat, which extends to our interactions, which further extends to the “invisible influences” we select to infiltrate our days. I’ve been really enjoying the “Re-Launch of Myself” project I coined, in which I’ve taken every effort to create more ease and energy in my day-to-day, from sleep habits and exercise routines, to books and podcasts, and even an illuminating bloodwork panel recently completed with a new doctor here in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina. I felt inspired to sit down and write this before I scoop Cosima up and out to see her first Nutcracker ballet in hopes that it will ignite a sense of confidence and curiosity in you, as I feel, too. Last, I hope that when you reflect on the influences allowed on you, you find that I am a positive one.

This morning, I had a little treat of hanging back, remaining upstairs in our bedroom, while Phil and Cosima made their way down for the whole breakfast routine. I decided to use the time wisely and read a chapter in my book. (I specifically set out to read one chapter, no matter how long it was, rather than a few pages until I got bored.)

It felt amazing, but particularly because the book I am reading is a memoir from an audaciously adventurous and optimistic woman who has found tremendous love, success—and, yes, heartache—all while rejecting the idea that life should be anything less than, at bottom through ups and downs, joyful.

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