Be a Better Gabber (video)!
The 3 resources I plucked from the ocean of info in my quest to level-up everyday communication. (Plus, why that is good news for you & the only "F" I got in school.)
2:20 minute video / 7 minute read. This content may contain affiliate links.
Intrigued and invested. That is how I would describe my recent desire—no, obsession—to become a better communicator. Specifically, how to level up my chit chat with someone new into a more connected conversation that can be built upon.
“Communication” sounds so corporate and boring. I imagine a PDF presentation on how to be a dull blowhard. Just be well read, consider your words before you spew them, and don’t be an ass. How hard can it be?! Apparently, kind of hard.
Because many of us (dare I say, you and me) sort of tumble through our day assuming that since we’re sentient and literate and kind, our words are landing on others exactly as we intend. Newsflash: They are not. More often than we think, we are confusing, offending, or boring our recipient just below the surface. And it effects the outcome—whether the acquaintance at school drop-off converts into an actual friend, whether you walk in and get seated at the restaurant table despite the “reserved” sign on it, whether you feel bonded to your wife or like she is a roommate…
I don’t mean to make it sound so transactional, though. Indeed, we can’t control how others understand us or react to us, so the goal in becoming a better communicator is not to procure something from them in return. (That’s the difference between “communicate” and “manipulate.”) Rather, the goal is to generate a sense of peace in yourself—trusting your own judgment and your skill, in knowing that your actions align with them—instead of a sense of consternation or conflict, like “that didn’t come out right” or “that wasn’t what I mean to say” or “that was fine, but so surface.”
Luckily, communicating well is entirely within our control—yours and mine!—to improve. It’s totally doable.
And, brilliantly, becoming a better communicator will enhance almost every corner of our experience: our daily interactions, our big picture achievements, our relationships, our business prospects, our passings with strangers and our deep tracks with loved ones.
It is perhaps the one thing we can all control that will also improve all aspects of our lives. BOOM.
Okay, great. But, how?…
I’ve been deep diving into this in my spare time—podcasts in the car and poking around online—and have found the following 3 resources eye-opening.
Big picture understanding, plus actionable task-like advice. Perfect!
But first, I want to share a quick funny story about my adventures in learning how to communicate at law school…